Christian Filipina Blog

Visa Services Partners

We are considering partnering with responsible visa services experts to help our members who have asked for help with the visa process. What do you think?

We are proud of the dozens of testimonials we receive every month from our members who have met friends and more on our site. We regret that when our members ask us whether we offer visa services, that we have always had to say no. But we want to be able to say yes, to offer our members a service they know they can trust.

We would like to hear from you as members of our site – what research have you done about visa processing services, and what is important to you? Would you prefer to have some written pages describing how to submit the forms on your own? Or would you prefer to consult with an expert on an hourly basis, or a prepaid package basis? Would you prefer to have an expert whose fees are lower (but is not a licensed attorney), or an licensed immigration attorney with higher fees?

We are also especially interested to hear from our members in other countries. Because we are based in the United States, we have more experience with the experts (and the process) here. But a large number of our members are from other countries, including Canada, Germany, France, Australia, New Zealand, even South America, the Middle East, and elsewhere in Asia and the Pacific. Have you heard of any recommendations of experts to work with in your country?

Please send us your feedback to us via email to info@christian-filipina.com, or using the Feedback Form on our site. Whereas we normally allow comments on all our blog articles, in this case we ask you instead to email us directly because we would prefer you to give us the specific details that might not be appropriate in a public forum. Thank you for your help.

Useful Partner Resources

In order to help keep the costs of membership at our site low, we welcome our members to help us by using the following affiliate links when they go shopping online. Every one of the links on this page is for a resource that you may find useful. In most cases we will earn a small percentage of any purchase price if you make any purchases through these sites. Some of the sites are related to the Philippines, and some are simply useful sites.

• A Man’s Guild to Life and Love in the Philippines (ebook by Larry Elterman)
• The online store we recommend, where we buy most of our books, electronics, and sometimes even appliances: Amazon.com
• Loveme.com Romance Tours We have never been on one, but company has been established a long time.
• E-Junkie Affiliate and Online Product Selling Shopping Cart
• International Prepaid Phone Cards

A to Z Steps for Bringing Your Wife to the USA

Since we met in the Philippines and then after our marriage moved to the USA, we have personal experience with the process of immigration to the USA. In addition, from the many people we have known in person and through the website, we have continued to learn about this process. Since many of our members ask us about this, we will share some of this information here. Our apologies to our many members from other countries that we do not have as much information in their respective countries of the details of immigration.

It is nearly impossible for any person from the Philippines to travel to the US on a tourist visa because of the requirement in the visa application process that they prove sufficient ties to their home country. There are very long lines every day outside the US embassy in Manila of hundreds of men and women who pay over $100 each to get a 2-minute opportunity to ask for a tourist visa, and almost all of them are immediately rejected because they are considered likely to overstay their tourist visas illegally.

For this reason, any US citizen who considers marriage with a Filipina should plan to get her a fiance or spousal visa and never waste time, money, or tears on attempting to get a tourist visa. Fiance and spousal visas to the US, in our experience, take 8-12 months to process from initial application to the final issuance of the visa. In order to even apply, the US citizen must have income or assets above a certain minimum. In addition, there must be recent photos of the couple together.

As we have written in previous blog entries, we recommend that our gentlemen plan a trip to meet several of our members in person as friends. Then after meeting in person, if one of those develops to the point of engagement or marriage, that’s the time to begin the process of the visa application (unless of course you intend to live together in the Philippines, which many couples do also).

Some of our members ask how much should they save in order to be ready for this process. While everyone’s experience is different, as a very rough guide, here is a minimal budget:

Airfare for one trip $1000
Expenses for one month $1000
Immigrant Visa application fees $1000
Travel expenses for your fiance/wife $1000

In our case, we also paid for an expert to help us with the visa application process, which was less than $1000. We have met some who prefer to do their own applications, but in our case we did not want to waste time with trying to second-guess the visa forms and preferred to have someone to help us get it right the first time.

Technically speaking, according to some interpretations of the immigrant visas, the US citizen is supposed to maintain a residence in the US while the visa is being processed. However, on a personal level, we feel that our choice to live together in the Philippines during that time was best for us. Consider your own situation, and figure out what is best for you.

We apologize if our blog post on this topic cannot answer the specific details of exact timelines (which can vary depending on your situation) or even budget. You can consult an expert or a lawyer or the immigration department website for more information when you get to the point of making your choices.

As one final note, we sometimes hear that a couple is considering whether to get married in the Philippines or the USA (or both), based on the implications for the visa. We think this is backwards and unnecessary. If you are ready, then consider what is right for the two of you before God and in the context of your families. The visas will be available for you whatever choice makes sense on a personal level.

An Example of a Scammer Targeting Ladies

Every single day, we have applications for members to our site from criminals who seek to prey on our members and steal from our members.  Usually, we have become quite good at recognizing their applications for membership.  And we deny them membership.  But sometimes we miss one of these criminals, and by mistake we allow them to be members of the site.  Here is an example of one of the criminals who joined our site about 1 week ago and tricked us.

The profile was for “Frederick Bundchen” who claimed to be from Elizabethtown, Kentucky, United States.  This is what he wrote in his profile:

I am patient,generous, kind, and loving. I am always upbeat, have a positive attitude about most things and I like to have fun. I like football,movies,swimming,dancing,cooking,singing in the choir at church,listening to music,shopping,taking walks at night and looking at the stars,watching the sunset,eating at a very nice restaurant and going to live concerts,theater, movies and art. I love to travel, and to go sightseeing. I love museums, romantic dinners,…..And I am a fun loving person who loves to laugh and make others laugh. I always try to enjoy the simple things in life,and not take anything for granted.I’ve a naturally curious mind and love to learn about peoples, cultures, and so many other things…I love romantic dinners,

The profile included pictures of a man, a woman, and a boy about 5 years old.

We approved this application for membership in the site.  Then the member upgraded the membership by paying using a credit card and began contacting members sending ladies his email address federickbundchen@yahoo.com.  When one of our lady members wrote to the man, he responded by claiming he wanted to hire a nanny and was going to help the lady get a visa to the USA to be the nanny.  Here are the emails he sent:

Hello Dear,

Thanks for your reply and interest in the job I am really willing to get a Driver and Nanny down to the US soon and I told you that i am going to Pay you 3,000Sdollars a month and that will be for the Up keep of Driver and Nanny to where ever. I have Duplex Building with 8 Bedrooms and 2 living rooms and that is all I Want you to take care of You’ll have a room to yourself with a complete Working system with internet facilities which Will enable you communicate with your friends And Family daily.
The reason why I need a driver and Nanny is because I will be moving out of city due to official duty .Now I have to go on a naval course for 6 months And I need a Driver and Nanny in aupair to take care of my kids I understand that you might not have your Visa processed yet and I have already discussed With the United state Immigration service about My intention to get the service of a Driver and Nanny to Take care of my kids while I am on national Duty…..Since I am a Naval officer and I hardly Stay at home…So this is how I intend to make Everything work…
I will give you the email of the immigration Office as well as my Naval license ID number so That they will know that I directed you to the Immigration office for the processing of your Visa…..I will take good care of your departure and arrival to the US when your Visa processing is Completed…But you will have to pay for your Visa registration fee yourself which cost about $225US.
This is because The Immigration has mandated it that the Applicant will address the Visa Registration fee because the payment Receipt will be attached to your papers and The name on it will be used for the processing of all your Papers….and when the processing get done,it will be sent to you via a courier service.More over alert will send to US immigration,US embassy and POEA in your home country as soon as your visa is ready and you will be call for interview .The reason why you have to pay for your Visa registration Yourself is because the immigration office has made it Compulsory that it is the applicant who pays for Her visa registration because I have once been Cheated by a Filipino whom I paid all her expense And when he got his papers, he did not show up to me…So the thing is this, i am going to help you mak sure that you get your visa at all cost. With my influence……I really need a honest and sincere person to work for me…. I think the registration fee for Asia foreigners hoping to work in the US is 225USdollars so that is all they will ask you to pay and the rest will be my doing about 4,700USdollar …I will check out Philippine Work abroad agencies and i will make sure all is set For you. This is all that I have planned down so if you are OK with it, do mail me back. But if you will ask Me to pay your Visa Registration fee for you, please Don’t write me back.Contact me back only if you are ready for this or Maybe I should just get someone else as this is Very important and urgent…Please get back to Me by email only.. I will be away for 6 months and you Will be the one taking care of my safety.
Mr Frederick B Underway Navy.
US Naval Officer

and also this message:

Thanks for your Kind message and interest to Go further with this offer.Immigration will only ask you to pay for visa registration fee which is $225US,I will be the one to pay for your visa placement and airfare total cost $4700US…now I am convinced that I have someone who Will be able to take care of my safety and my home….I am going to write the immigration office to notify them that you will be sending Application for Visa and other traveling Papers and i will have them linked up with you……
They already provided me with the opportunity to bring in 2 foreigner to the US and they have given me the serial code which I am going to give To you. And you will write to them by email and they will know that you are my client and I referred You to them…
I will give you their email and you will email them And tell them you were referred for your visa processing and immigration licensing From Mr……..of the US Naval force…And then you provide them with your immigrant serial code which is Ref: 3829-44632-us-28891-ph And include your full name and address.You are also going to be contacted by the department of foreign affairs over there in your home town and they will get you the necessary documents…..ok?
I am trying to make sure everything get arranged quickly And soon enough. This is the immigrations office E-mail…..usimmigrationdesk@gmail.com
Contact them as soon as possible.
Take care
Best Regards
Mr Frederick B
US Naval Officer 140 barbara circle,Elizabethtown, Kentucky 42701

We were informed of this by one of our careful members who was suspicious about the email she had received.  When we investigated, we suspended the profile of the member immediately because it is clearly a criminal fraud.

As we have written previously many times, do not ever send money to anyone you have never met in person. This applies to men as well as to women.  If you ever have any of our members attempt to ask you for money, please write to us immediately so that we can investigate.

Over time, as our site becomes more popular, we know that more and more scammers will seek to break in.  We see criminal scammers claiming to be from Philippines, USA, Africa, England, China.  We continue to change the way our site works to make it more and more difficult for the scammers to take advantage of our members.  We believe that we have the largest percentage of sincere members of any Asian dating site, and the smallest percentage of insincere, scammers, and criminals, thanks to our custom improvements to our system, our dedication to educating our members about these issues, and to our members who immediately inform us when any other member attempts to trick them.  If you are curious sometime, you may want to visit and join some of the other dating sites and see for yourself how many criminals there are on the internet trying to fool other persons.

Remember, take your time when getting to know anyone, whether it’s someone you meet in person or on our site or on any other internet site.  And never send money to anyone you haven’t met in person.

**UPDATE 8/31/2010**

We just had another scammer who joined our site with a similar “nanny scam” scenario… As with some previous scammers, this member had a profile showing a man with a child.  As with previous apparently-male scammers, the user upgraded his membership with a payment, then sent the following message:

Hello,
My name is james evans,i am sorry for contacting you this way but i believed you are good christain.Am a single father with a son named Dennis Evans,i worked as a construction engineer but self employed and i lived in london.United kingdom.  So am in need of a babysitter for my son and i will be paying you the sum of 500 pounds weekly as your wages,so if you have interest in helping me look after my son and you do have a valid passport.  Send me a message me on my id james_evans00001@yahoo.com for more details of the job and do not take this message as insult if its looks beyond your standard.

James

We have not yet heard of any of our ladies who has fallen prey to any of these scammers who have tried to infiltrate our site.  We hope that we continue with that record, and in order to do so we commit to continuing to educate all of our members about the fraudsters who attempt to join our site, and we commit to continue our high degree of vigilance of our members who apply to join our site.  If at some time, an honest person has his or her profile suspended, we apologize for this.  If this happens to you, please calmly contact us through our feedback form and/or email so that we can investigate closely and fix any error we might make.  We do our best to identify suspicious profiles and research them carefully to suspend them as soon as possible.  Now after reading some of the stories, we hope you understand why we are so careful, occasionally even to a fault.

What’s Coming Up Soon At Our Site

I hope you’ve noticed and been able to make use of the 5-star ranking system that we have added to our system for your buddy list and other lists.

We’ve also been hard at work developing other new site features.  One of the main areas of focus has been a new look for the site.  You may remember that we came up with several designs almost a year ago, but we never settled on one that we felt was both intimate and professional enough to represent our community of members.  We want to give you a quick sneak preview of the design we are now implementing that we hope you will like.

So, that’s it on the right.  You can click the picture for a closer view.  The text of the pages will remain about the same as we have today.  What’s different will be the layout.  For now, we’ve selected a professional photograph of a couple that we may use on the left side.  The images in the center, however, will be our featured ladies, just as we now have on our front page.  If you have a picture of yourself and your husband or wife who have met through our site and would like us to consider using your picture on our front page, please just send it to us, because we would rather use a picture of some of our members rather than a professional photograph.

Another thing we are working on is a change to the message system between free-level members.   We’ve found that there is a lot of abuse of our free-level message system, which has forced us to monitor an excessive quantity of messages in order to spot scams and other violations of our terms of service.  Due to this, we will no longer be allowing free-level members to write text messages to other free members.  Instead, free level members writing to other free-level members will be able to choose between pre-written messages that we store in our system.  Of course, any upgraded member will still be able to edit their own messages, and any free level member replying to an upgraded member will also be able edit their messages.

We welcome your comments about either of these new developments, which we hope will be in place within a few months (probably we will introduce them one at a time).

And of course, we always welcome your feedback on any aspect of our site: just click the feedback link at the bottom of the site’s home page to write to us.

Cotabato and Mindanao

Over the past year, we have kept an informal record of scammers who have been identified on our site.  We have had scammers claiming to be from the Philippines, the U.S., U.K., Nigeria, and elsewhere, some of whom we know are really from the places they claim to be from, and some whom are not.  We do our best both to remove scammers from our site and to educate our members about this important subject so that they can avoid emotional and financial traps.  As soon as we are sure about any new intelligence, we post it in our letters and blogs, for all our members to read.

We have found that ladies from the area of Mindanao tend to be more likely to be scammers, and in particular, those from Cotabato.  All things considered, with the increased quantity of scammers from this area and the increased risks of violence in Mindanao, we now recommend that our members exercise extreme caution with any person from this region.

The behaviors we have seen in the scammers that characterize Cotabato and Mindanao are typical of Philippine scams: fake photos; reluctance to appear on webcam; requests to purchase webcams, computers, cell phones; premature declarations of love; preference for chatting on yahoo messenger rather than on our site; insistence on needing money for many different reasons; form letters; being online all the time; suggestion to circumvent immigration laws; request for excessive money to correct passport or birth certificate problems; they can be of any age but tend to be young, sometimes even in violation of our terms of service they are under 18 and lie about their age on their profile.

We also, however, want to draw your attention to some conversations we have had with one of our contacts who shared with us some of his experience with meeting people from Cotabato in the past.  In these conversations, we learned that some of the ladies claiming to be from Davao, Zamboanga, and elsewhere in Mindanao were actually in or from Cotabato.  This reinforced what we have observed as well.  Even more absurd, many of these ladies who claim to be Catholic or Christian from these areas are actually Muslim.  Many of the Muslims are part of a Muslim clan called Ampatuan which you can read about on your own.  They view outsiders who are not from their clan as enemies and are taught by teachers and parents to steal from enemies as part of holy war.  They are taught that laws of behavior do not apply to the way they treat those outside their clan.  They also work in teams, coming up with schemes to solicit funds; who you talk to one day on a YM might be a different person from the day before which might be a different person from who answers a phone; and a different person may occasionally do a webcam chat and/or receive money sent.  When they are successful, the money that is sent does not go to the poor children or education or medicine, but to the politicians and religious leaders directly, with only a possible commission going to the web scam team.

In this context, we reiterate our guideline recommendations for our members:

• insist on chatting on webcam with those you meet online
• do not send any money to anyone you have met online who you have never met in person
• chat on our christian-filipina.com chat service, rather than yahoo messenger
• familiarize yourself with all of our blog entries, and with stories from others at other sites like dragonladies.org
• if any member ever asks you directly or indirectly for money, report it immediately from their profile page with the ‘report a problem’ feature
• if you have any questions, please email us using the feedback link; if your question involves another member, send it from their profile page

(Added July 20 — ) One final note, we had previously written about one of the scammers from Mindanao, Rosebel (also known as many other names) — here is our previous entry about the scammer Rosebel Fajardo from Mindanao.  After a hiatus, she (or “she” as the case may be, we have no idea of the true identity or identities) has resurfaced, creating at least two profiles in the past week here on our site, one going by “Kiszle” and another as “Lady” but always using her same famous pictures, and lofty lies.  No doubt she’ll be back; we hope to catch her before her profile goes live, but if she tricks us and you notice her here again, please be sure to let us know!

What Do Our Members Say About Our Site?

We have a form that is part of the cancel process, where we receive feedback from all members who cancel their memberships.  Since we often receive requests from members to know whether people actually meet on our site, we have decided to publish the most recent week of what we have received from canceling members.  This is a typical week.  There are always some who are very happy, some who are not happy, and some who say they are too busy.

• “its not what i was expecting” (6/27/2010) – user 26722, man, 35, United States
• “I would like to say thank you to Christian Filipina for being the tool in finding my special someone. My prayer has been answered and I found the one perfect for me here. My long wait is finally over. God bless you all! Hallelujah!” (6/27/2010) – user 25395, woman, 39, Philippines
• “no tym” (6/27/2010) – user 25691, woman, 36, Philippines
• “I like to restrain my self in dating site at the moment…” (6/27/2010) – user 5746, woman, 28, Philippines
• “i think its not yet my time the man meant for me. i have to focus on my son and to myself as well. i know in God’s time i can be able to meet those man who are willing to accept me as i am. thank u anyway for this site i do able to learn in many aspects. im still looking forward to registered again in this site maybe after the time that i am ready already.thanks and God bless…” (6/27/2010) – user 25143, woman, 23, Philippines
• “From my perspective, first and foremost we would like to thank you for allowing us the opportunity to meet via your website. We have chosen a more intimate pathway as we are desiring to be one. Regarding your query I believe that an added chatting service would be beneficial for upgraded members and the inclusion of low level members to exchange contact details as you are aware of the financial situation of the Philippines. Overall the service which you have provided has been secure and just. Technically it would be beneficial if messages were transferred with a quicker turn around. At times it takes approximately 24 – 48 hours for the messages to be transferred between both parties. Finally, Christian Filipino should also include photos of the employment team to develop compassion for future members who are willing to help them retain an income for their work. All the best we wish you continued growth and success and may all the couples establish long lasting relationships through your service.” (6/26/2010) – user 24302, man, 25, Australia
• “My husband asked me to delete it…Â Thank you so much Christian Filipina, from the buttom of our heart (me & my hubby). Cuz of this site i was able to find the one. May God continue blessing this site… (‘_’)” (6/26/2010) – user 20168, woman, 26, Philippines
• “I already met someone” (6/26/2010) – user 13657, woman, 34, Philippines
• “I simply did not find what I was looking for.” (6/26/2010) – user 25612, man, 66, United States
• “i wanna say thank you Christian Filipina but my search is over,,,,,,and all i can say is thank you!!!!” (6/25/2010) – user 21833, woman, 48, Philippines
• “im not interested anymore” (6/25/2010) – user 25919, woman, 35, Philippines
• “I have found someone.” (6/25/2010) – user 26025, man, 60, United States
• “I found someone” (6/24/2010) – user 25956, woman, 26, Philippines
• “i just dont like the website” (6/24/2010) – user 26448, woman, 22, Philippines
• “I withdraw my membership due to lack of time.” (6/23/2010) – user 20528, woman, 29, Philippines
• “i already found him.” (6/21/2010) – user 21973, woman, 30, Philippines
• “I found my lover thanks.” (6/21/2010) – user 19246, man, 48, Canada

Do Women Get Scammed on Dating Websites?

We’ve devoted several articles in our blog to men who have been scammed by women (or at least they believed they were scammed by women). But we also think it’s important to caution the ladies. Almost every day we reject members who appear to be advertising a nanny scheme.

Most often the profiles we reject from this category claim to be from the U.K. but actually many of this type of scammer are from Nigeria and sometimes other countries in Africa. Those in Nigeria often work with other scammers in U.K. or other countries to create a network of liars who claim to be ready to help ladies get a job as a nanny taking care of children. Since we prohibit this use of our site in any case, we reject these profiles immediately. However, we believe that the intent of these individuals is not to hire nannies at all.   At “best” we believe it is a type of advanced fee fraud, where the ladies will be required to send money in advance to process paperwork – but in fact this money would simply be stolen by the scammers. At worst, the scammers could have something even worse in mind. We have also heard of a type of fraud from another dating website that we described this December blog entry about scammers.  In that case, supposedly a person (also from U.K.) supposedly sent a package.  We believe that actually no package was ever sent, and the victim was going to be asked to send money to help with a problem in the shipping process. Then just a few days ago we noticed in the comments of our recent article describing a specific scam profile that had been on our site, a reference to a scam that apparently had occurred here.  Once again, the scammer claimed to be from the U.K.  Actually that is the first reference we have heard to women being scammed on our site, so we feel quite bad about it. Ladies, remember that you also need to be careful.  No matter the excuse or story, do not send money to anyone you have never met in person, period.  If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are considering this, please write to us right away using the feedback link on the bottom of our website pages and ask whether we think the situation is suspicious. And if ladies or gentlemen are asked by any other member of the site for money, please write to us immediately and send us the user number and if possible the full text of the message.  We will investigate, and in most cases we can learn from your message and other information we store on the site whether that person is a scammer or not. As always, if you have any comments to add relating to this topic, please feel free to add a comment to this article.

We have also heard of a type of fraud from another dating website that we described this December blog entry about scammers. In that case, supposedly a person (also from U.K.) supposedly sent a package. We believe that actually no package was ever sent, and the victim was going to be asked to send money to help with a problem in the shipping process.

Then just a few days ago we noticed in the comments of our recent article describing a specific scam profile that had been on our site, a reference to a scam that apparently had occurred here. Once again, the scammer claimed to be from the U.K. Actually that is the first reference we have heard to women actually being scammed on our site, so we feel quite bad about it.

Ladies, remember that you also need to be careful. No matter the excuse or story, do not send money to anyone you have never met in person, period. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are considering this, please write to us right away using the feedback link on the bottom of our website pages and ask whether we think the situation is suspicious.

And if ladies or gentlemen are asked by any other member of the site for money, please write to us immediately and send us the user number and if possible the full text of the message. We will investigate, and in most cases we can learn from your message and other information we store on the site whether that person is a scammer or not.

As always, if you have any comments to add relating to this topic, please feel free to add a comment to this article.

A Profile of a Repeat Scammer From Mindanao, Philippines

We have several criminals who repeatedly create profiles on our site to solicit money from our members.  Most of the profiles they attempt to create never go live on the site, because we eliminate them in the approval process.  However, from time to time we miss one.  Here is an example of one we missed recently.  We are ashamed that we missed this one, because this individual has already stolen thousands of dollars from members at our site.  Her name goes by various phrasings of a common theme, and her profiles with ages in the 20s have phrases like “Relationships are just like a receipe or a mirror. What ever you put in you will get back. Just to let you know. I am a Christian. However, I don`t practice my faith like others.” and “My future man may go to church as he feels necessary though ~>Someone who believes in UNCONDITIONAL LOVE When you need someone to encourage you, I want it to be me.”  In other words, this scammer and others like her know exactly what to write to appear sincere, and yet she is a deceitful person.  She even has phrases like, “I VALUE NOTHING MORE THAN HONESTY ! IT IS THE FOUNDATION OF EVERY SOLID RELATIONSHIP AND ENCOURAGES TRUST AND RESPECT ! I DESPISE LIARS !LOVE IS NOT WONDERING HOW LONG IT WILL LAST BUT HOW STRONG 2 HEARTS CAN MAKE IT GROW!”  How many innocent men has she charmed with these borrowed phrases?  We suspect that based on the money she has stolen from members of this site and probably other sites, this criminal steals around $20,000 per year.  Don’t let yourself be one of the victims of this person or anyone like her.

This individual represents the epitome of the criminals who live by taking advantage of others.  Here is an example of one of her emails to one member:

First of all, I want to thank you for reviewing my profile and reading my Personalized Introductory Letter. I know it’s not possible to tell everything about ourselves in just one email.

First let me tell you that I am serious about finding a man to marry. I’m not looking for a pen pal, etc. All I’m looking for is a man that’s sincere about developing a loving, honest, open relationship that might lead to a future marriage. That sounds simple doesn’t it? We both know something as big as getting married never really is all that easy though. Not if you want to do the best you can and make sure you’re finding that special someone you can love and spend the rest of your life with.

if you like to connect or to have a fruitful communications this is my email address were we cant start getting to know each others well..my private email monique.fajardo20@yahoo.com let me know if you email me..okay..

Affectionately yours,
Rosebel

Some items that should immediately raise your suspicion:

1. she attempts to include a personal email in an initial contact.  Contact information like this is prohibited in exchanges between free level members according to our terms of service.  Indeed, we catch many scammers based on this, followed by additional research.  We strongly encourage you to never give out your email address or to contact any other member except through the site’s messaging and chat features.  This is because the criminals like this one know we monitor site communications, so they attempt as quickly as possible to get away from the site that they can fool our members without us catching them.
2. her pictures are indecent and vain
3. she’s too confident and formal; clearly she’s sending a form letter
4. she just joined recently

What should you do if you encounter someone you think is a scammer?

1. If you aren’t sure, you can always email the site owners to ask their opinion – use the Feedback link at the bottom of the page, or reply to any email message from the site
2. Always use our site for communication, and have a firm rule against giving out your personal contact information
3. Inform anyone you are chatting with right away that you have a firm rule against sending money to someone you have not met in person
4. If any member solicits money directly or indirectly plays a guilt game, please forward us the message or text and allow us to take appropriate action.

What should you do if you get tricked by a scammer?

1. Maybe you did not take our advice and decided to send money to someone you met over the internet.  Most likely it did not work out, because it is not the right way to start a mature relationship.  It’s time to learn a lesson.  Don’t do it again.  Please inform us if this happens to you, so that we can permanently remove the member’s profile.  Remember, if anyone comes up with a tall tale about needing money for an operation, or school, or medicine, etc, etc, it is simply a lie.  The same thing goes for sending money for any scheme to try to do some business venture in Nigeria or anywhere else.  It’s simply a vacuous sales pitch.
2. Next time, take our advice – write in your profile (or in your messages) that you have a firm rule against sending money to people you have not met; plan a trip to the Philippines where you will meet several people, and don’t send any money or become emotionally involved with any one until you’ve had the chance to meet several people in person.
3. Take it easy on yourself.  Maybe you lost a lot of money.  Ok, let it go.  It has happened to many other people also.  You are not alone.  We know it hurts.  If it didn’t, you might not be able to learn from it.  Let it go, move on, and be more careful next time.
4. And by all means, if you ever meet someone like this again in person or over the internet, just say, “Sorry, I’ve got to go,” turn around, and go somewhere else to meet people who are more deserving of your company.

Server Problems

Over the past few weeks, we had several times when the server where our site is hosted lost power due to a faulty electrical setup at the former hosting company in Los Angeles.  We were also outgrowing that server, and so we decided to switch to a new server.  Yesterday we successfully switched over most of the site functionality to the new server.  Some of our users have experienced intermittent problems today that I am sure are related to this move of our site to the new server.   Our apologies for these problems.  If you are an upgraded member and experienced any problems in your account today, please just send us a note with the feedback form or to our email address, and we will add additional days to your membership to make up for the inconvenience.

We have solved several outstanding configuration problems on the new server, but it appears that there is still an intermittent error with the chat functionality for some users.  We believe this is because the new server has a slightly different version of its operating system (we have had to make a few changes already to the program due to this), and it is likely we will find the right solutions to these outstanding issues with the chat program within the next few days.

If you notice any other problems, please let us know so that we can investigate and resolve them.  Once we have completed this move to the new server and ironed out the remaining issues, we should have a much more reliable hosting setup for the long-term and should not suffer from the same problems again.