Don't confuse charity and love. Offer your companionship but keep your cash.
We’ve written about how we prohibit any of our members from soliciting money through our website. We’ve also written about how we strongly recommend that our members do not ever send money to someone they have not met in person. We want to emphasize the importance of this.
Some members understand this advice right away, based on their past experience or our blog entries. From our correspondence with our members, we also know that some other members refuse to follow our advice. Let us be as clear as possible – we believe that any relationship in which any money is sent before the two people have met in person, will not work.
We thought we’d make a list of the reasons a person might ask another member for money. Every single one of these reasons is a manipulation. No decent person would ever provide tall tales like these to fool people into sending them money.
- I need money to study.
- I need money to eat.
- My family is starving.
- There was just a typhoon, and my family’s house has been washed away.
- The caribou water buffalo died.
- The rice rotted.
- I loaned my family money, and now I owe them.
- I need a new phone to call you.
- I need a computer to write to you.
- I need a better apartment so that you will respect me when you come here.
- The police are demanding a bribe.
- My mother is about to die due to lack of medicine, and they won’t even give her an antibiotic.
- My brother wants to start a business.
- My sister is about to give birth.
- My tuition payment was stolen.
- The jeepney driver broke my phone.
- The police confiscated my brother’s hubel hubel motorcycle and now we can’t earn money.
- I need to get a passport before I meet you.
- I can get a visa to come to your country.
- I can get a visa to meet you in another country.
- I need documents in order to process your visa.
- I need an engagement ring.
- I need to start processing the papers for our engagement.
- My parents are demanding a dowry.
- I want to give my parents a gift.
- I already have a loan at the cybercafe and I have to pay for it.
- My father has a loan due to gambling at the cock-fight, and if I don’t repay it, our house will be repossessed.
- I need load for my phone so that I can receive your call.
- I need to buy a new phone for international calls.
- I need to process a business application to get a good job and they require me to buy the uniform.
We could go on with this list for a very long time. There is no end of pretexts that people can come up with to try to solicit money. Just say no. Here are a few questions and answers on the topic as well.
What should you do when someone you’ve met at our site asks you for money? Our suggestion to you is that you simply send us their user number with our feedback link, and then you correspond with other members instead. We will investigate it, and in most cases we suspend the user profile. We do not allow anyone to ask for money using our site; we do not think people who ask for money directly or indirectly are ready for relationship (at best) and are often fraudsters or criminals. We do our best to screen for these types of users, but we also rely on our members to report violations to us to help us keep our members honest.
But is it OK if one person initiates a gift to the other without a request? We hear this all the time. One member wants to help another member. Please do not do it. If you want to send money to the Philippines, please donate it to the Philippine Red Cross. Visit the Red Cross donations page to make your donation. They will do a much better job than you can from far away, seeing to it that your donation goes to the neediest people at the times when it is most likely to make a difference.
But we’ve been chatting now for a few weeks. I just want to give her a phone so I can call. This is also common. Our advice is don’t do it. By sending money before you have met someone, even just a few dollars, you are risking ruining a potentially good connection. As soon as someone receives money, then the pressure from family and friends to think of you as an ATM machine starts. Just don’t risk it. Save the money, and buy a plane ticket to go visit as soon as possible. We insist – don’t send money to someone you haven’t met, under any circumstances, for any reason, period.
But I want to surprise her with something nice. Send her flowers. You can search for ’send flowers to the philippines’ on the internet.
If you are ever wondering, “Is this story legitimate, should I send money to this person I met at Christian Filipina”, if you don’t know the answer yet after reading this, just call us or send us an email, and we will talk to you about the particular situation and give you our advice.
Remember, the people who will be most quick to contact you on any dating website will almost always be the criminal scammers. They work 24 hours a day creating fake profiles and trying to trick others to send money. Learn to accept that this kind of person may contact you, and just report it, and move on. As you take your time to get to know more of our members, you’ll find that we have many professional, innocent, and sincere ladies. They may be more shy, you may need to take the initiative to contact them. We have thousands and thousands of quality ladies who would never ask for money. Don’t let the drama of a misguided person prevent you from meeting the sincere partner you deserve. Take your time, quickly discard any letters from those who don’t deserve your attention, and be patient to slowly get to know five or ten ladies from our site, so that when you plan a trip (hopefully, soon), you can meet three to five in person as friends, to know in person which one deserves your company.
Jen and Peter
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